At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
