I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
