How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
