I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
