I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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