I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
