he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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