I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize