Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
