why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
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