what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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