I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
