I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
