she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
