So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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