a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
