come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
