He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
