why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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