This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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