I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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