Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
so much tequila, so little girl.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
