i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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