We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
