doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
