god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize