pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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