Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
