how can u be prego again
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
