White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
