let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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