hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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