I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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