We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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