omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
