As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize