Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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