I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My liver just had a heart attack.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize