she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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