Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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