Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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