Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
