Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
