i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
