id be glad to
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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