no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I don't think brook has ever known best
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
