Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
