My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
