He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Everclear isn't food dammit
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
