both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
