And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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