I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
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I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
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Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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