It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
