I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
