Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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