she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
