i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
