whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
