I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize