We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
